5 Tips on how to get your partner on board with the healthy food changes

‘I wish my husband/partner was more on board with the food changes’ is a common statement of stress and concern from many women. ‘He is addicted to sugar’, ‘He doesn’t care about his health and I’m worried about him’, ‘I wish he cooked and didn’t just order takeaway when I need a night off’.  Or ‘he thinks I’m going nuts and obsessing’.

Naturally when we find something is working for us we really want our loved ones to experience the same benefits and be concerned about their health as much as we are about ours.

Change is scary though and we all need to do it at our own pace and motivation.

Consider instead coming from a love-based approach.

1. Don’t make him wrong.

No one likes to feel they are doing things wrong. This eats away at self-confidence and can be interrupted as not being good enough. Remember to treat your husband like a best girlfriend. Think about what you are saying and how you are saying it, and then think about how you would react if being told this. Would you keep nagging a best friend, telling her that she is eating the wrong food all the time? Yes, there is room to plant seeds for thought with your man. Yes, there is room to communicate what you are learning and how you are feeling with your food changes, but try to refrain from making him feel wrong and inferior for not doing the changes yet himself.

2. Take the pressure off him and focus on yourself. 

When we love and want the best for him, it is hard to not put pressure on him to do what is working for you.  He is his own person though; he is the expert in his life. He needs to come to his own conclusion and decisions.  You know yourself that you dislike feeling pressured. In fact you are more likely to push back and resist even if it’s a good idea, simply because of the pressure. When the changes are his idea the changes will be more sustainable long-term.

The positive ripple effect comes when we focus on our own being. Love yourself, love your improved health.

Be an example of what real food can do to your body. Stress less about him and put the energy into your own awareness, growth and relationship.  Negative tension and arguments is not wellness. This is not good for your health or the health of others in the family

3. Love him for him and appreciate his strengths.

Love your man for him.  Appreciate the strengths, skills, knowledge and capacity he brings to the household and the relationship. Which of his strength or skills can support you and the family with food and lifestyle changes?  Let him become the expert on something and feel valued and validated for his contribution.

• Is he tech minded?….ask him to research the best water filter system.
• Is he good at any sports or activities?...ask him to teach you something.
• Is he good at financials?...ask him to do a budget of sickness and wellness.  E.g. Pharmacy and medical bills, take away food etc compared to organic whole foods and grass-fed meats.
• Is he science minded? ...ask him to help you understand an article on the immune system or gut micro biome.
• Is he better with bones then you?...ask him to be the expect bone broth maker.

4. Support his passions
You want him to support your new food and wellness passion, how can you support his passions? Has he not been able to enjoy a favourite pastime because of pain and stiffness?  Is he competitive? Plant the seed to challenge himself for a month to see if food changes may help improve his e.g. Golf handicap.  Then let it go (remember take the pressure off).

5. Build his confidence and LET GO of control.
This one has made the biggest difference for my husband and I. Like when teaching your children, use positive reinforcement and let him make mistakes.

In the early years of our marriage when I accepted my husband’s assistance in the kitchen or asked him to help but then hovered over him and wanted to control how the carrots were cut and make sure everything was done the way I do things it was stressful for us both and really didn’t teach him much at all.

It was only when I completely stepped out of the kitchen and was prepared to gratefully eat something not quite perfect did we start making progress.

Slowly he became more confident in the kitchen and is now enjoys stepping up as the ‘expert’ in a few dishes. He now takes on the role as 'chief granola maker' and makes a delicious curry and breakfast soup.

He likes to cut the vegetables really small, whereas I like to cut them bigger...but letting go of control is freeing and rewarding!

So wellness warriors, I hope some of these tips have given you some ideas to help get your husband/partner more on board with the food changes.  

If you live in Sydney invite him along to our Healing the Gut Introduction workshop.  My husband usually helps at this one and is always happy to have a chat with attendees. Or check an eye on our calendar of upcoming events.

Need more practical tips, support and a motivation boost to kick-start or re-invigorate your own wellness journey? 

Check out our live small group Food for Wellness Reset experience HERE.